Snippets of Shinsengumi Life
by Marin Liliz
Summary: Several unrelated one-shots, following the everyday life, unrequited love and hopeful future of some Shinsengumi members, but not only. Hijikata/Okita, Hijikata/Tetsu, Yoshida/Suzu, Yamanami/Tatsu, Tetsu/Suzu and more. M/M
1. What, if not?

**Disclaimer: **Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

Written about a year ago after watching PMK anime. I was watching the series and writing ideas for fics and drabbles on a nopepad. I have several drabbles, with various pairings that I'll be posting over the next weeks. Every other day, just have to edit them a bit.

Here's the first one.

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**What, if not...?**

_(…)_

"_Why won't you allow Tetsu-kun to have a katana? Why won't you let him to decide for himself?"_

"_Are you stupid? He's just a fifteen year old brat."_

"_Nine years old...I was nine years old. In other words, is that how it is? You don't want him to end up like me?"_

"_...Souji..." (...) _from Episode 07 - _Suzu_

...Souji…

Toshizo pressed a troubled hand to his forehead as Souji treaded away in the empty road, steady but tense strides, undoubtedly trying to control his anger.

Of course Souji was right!

What had he been if not a child when given a sword at nine?

What had he been if not innocent when brought to Toshizo's bed at twelve?

What had he been if not untainted when made to kill indiscriminately?

The knowledge that he should have stopped it all tormented him every day. Maybe this time, with Tetsu-kun, was a way of righting the wrong. A chance to save another as he should have saved Souji.

November2007©MarinLiliz

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**NEXT:** _"He liked the boy"_ - Souji ponders his feelings towards Tetsu-kun and Hijitaka-san


	2. He Liked the Boy

**Disclaimer: **Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**He liked the boy**

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**.  
**

He liked the boy. Souji pondered the reasons:

.

.

Tetsu-kun was fun to be around, funnier to tease.

A bit clumsy but hard-working regardless.

With a light about him despite his tragic past.

And all that will to learn if only slightly tainted by revenge. But maybe that could be corrected.

.

.

Hijikata-san was working on it. Souji smirked. Not the way he would have, but working it nonetheless.

.

.

Sure the boy was taking his place:

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As the young genius with the sword;

As the cute one within the Shinsengumi;

And in Hijikata-san's heart and, soon, in his bed, no doubt about it in Souji's mind.

.

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But still he liked the boy, Souji forced himself to believe.

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November2007©MarinLiliz

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**NEXT:** "_Till The Very Last Speck_" - Susumu contemplates the breaking of his heart.


	3. Till The Very Last Speck

**Disclaimer: **Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

**================================SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 19 - _"SKY"_=================================**

This drabble is my "yaoi" view of some of the events in episode 19.

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**Till The Very Last Speck**

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Susumu watched, with a panoramic view from the roof, his heart crumble to tiny little dust pieces.

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Hijikata-chou left the room where her body was. Striding down the wooden floors, with a pained expression on his face and soon followed by Okita-san running after the dark brooding form of the fukuchou.

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The wind blowing in their direction stole the sound of Hijikata-chou's rich voice from Susumu.

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The fukuchou seemed to bellow angrily over some unheard trouble, the pain more evident now that it was voiced. Okita-san followed with loyal determination.

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Then a shift in the wind rustled the leaves and brought the Okita's words -_"Not your fault"_ - Susumu's way.

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His heart lost yet another piece. Susumu knew well whose fault it was. But the heart was not yet completely dissolved; it still had pieces left to break.

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The two men stopped at the words and the comforting offered by the slight man; the arms that weren't Susumu's easily found their way around the taller man, a kiss, from lips that should've been Susumu's, was pressed to Hijikata-chou's neck, comforting and relieving the pain.

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His heart's last dust flew in the wind.

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The sense of failure washing over him. He had failed as a brother. Failed as a ninja. Failed to obtain the love of the man he craved.

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A tiny dust speck desperately clung to the empty heart as an irritating little red-haired refused to let him be alone.

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November2007

November2008©MarinLiliz

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**NEXT:** _"Down the Corridor"_ - Agonizing moments before Hijikata reaches the end of a very long corridor.


	4. Down the Corridor

**[Disclaimer]:** Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**Down the corridor**

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_(...) He's in the tatami room in the back. Go to him. (...) _episode 23 - _Truth_

_.  
_

_.  
_

Following the words like a martial order, Toshizo stepped up the stairs searching Souji.

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He reached the top of the stairs, facing the immense, door filled corridor; the men milling about it blurring his goal – the _tatami_ room in the back.

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He walked composedly in search of Souji; his gaze, intent on his goal, blurred the men he passed and the words they addressed him.

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The endless succession of doors went on forever – the _tatami_ room in the back – further and further away.

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His pace increased when the people were left behind and despair seeped into his heart at the sickening sounds of coughing and heaving from the _tatami_ room in the back.

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At the entrance of the _tatami_ room in the back, he stopped, dazed with the view before him: Souji shaken by a coughing fit, his frail body hurt and bruised.

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In relieve and despair, he whispered: "Souji!"

.

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November2007  
November2008©MarinLiliz

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**NEXT:** Punishment - Suzu is punished by his Sensei when he fails to do what he was ordered.


	5. Punishment

**[Disclaimer]:** Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**:::::WARNING:::::**

This chapter contains _**R-rated**_ material and **SPOILERS** for later episodes of the anime.

The sentence Suzu says is a direct quote from episode 21 - "Battle Formation".

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**[****Punishment****]**

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He had been ordered to kill Tetsu and failed miserably.

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The idiot boy was weak and short-tempered, childish even. He couldn't even pull a sword out of its sheath! It should have been an easy task. Easier now that he knew the kid was in the Shinsengumi. Suzu's hatred flared at the mention of the samurai group. So why, why had he not been able to do it? Why had he faltered at the last minute? Why had he disappointed Sensei?

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Suzu was weak and he could see disappointment in Sensei's eyes. He deserved any punishment.

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Prostrated on the floor in humble submission, he dared say to Sensei, "_my humblest apologies. I couldn't carry out your orders. I will accept any punishment you decide upon."_

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---

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Suzu gasped in surprise as Sensei entered his body, the musky smell of an unwashed man, heady and strong making him writhe in a strange pleasure.

.

But this was his punishment.

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He had been prepared, teased, pinched and prodded for over an hour without being allowed any release. He was at his limit, all of his body burned, all of his skin an erogenous zone; any touch, any light breeze was making him convulse and ache, still no release allowed, but the feel of Sensei almost making him forget it was punishment.

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Sensei started moving inside, thrusting rhythmically, every push hitting his that spot that made sparks of pleasure travel his body, head to toe, making him see stars.

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But no release in sight. This was punishment.

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Suzu knew he'd failed Sensei and there had to be a payment for the damaged incurred.

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Sensei grunted his release deep inside Suzu, warmth feeling him, and he could not stop trembling, his mind blank, all the focus of his being in one place.

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"You will not fail me again, Suzu."

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The rough, commanding voice had him screaming and squirming and writhing his release.

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Loss filled him as Sensei slipped off of him, dressed and walked out of the wood smelling warehouse into the warm July sun.

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December2007  
November2008©MarinLiliz

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**NEXT:** _"Training"_ - Tetsu spends some awkward moments while watching Hijikata-san training.


	6. Training

**[Disclaimer]:** Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**[Training]**

"Why are you hiding there?"

Oh great! He found me. I'm done for. I should be cleaning the floors.

"I, uhm, well...I was just passing by and...hmm...uhm..." Brilliant and now I lost all my coherent speech as well, "and saw you training, fukuchou. Sorry, I'll be on my way now" Better get away from here before he decides to come up with some punishment.

"Wait."

AW! Not fast enough, apparently.

"You may stay and watch me train."

HUH! I must be going crazy, did he just say I could stay?

"You might learn something."

Figures! I haven't learned something so far because you haven't allowed me to, neh?! And if I tell him this he'll kill me on the spot and I so wanna watch him exercise.

"Thank you, Hijikata-san." Always play safe, with him you never know.

As he moves to restart his motions I can't help notice how he moves so easily and lightly for a man so big, so effortlessly as if the blade weighs nothing.

I still remember when I couldn't even get a katana out of the sheath, and for him it feels like he's holding a sword made of air and he makes it so easy, like he's dancing.

That strong body of a samurai; flexible like a tiny contortionist from the Continent, light like a dancer's on a flying movement and deadly as hemlock poison.

He looks so powerful! I wish I could become as fearsome, strong and decisive as Hijikata Toshizo. Able to inspire men to follow and worship him...

Okay?! Where did that come from?! I wanna learn from the best but I don't worship him. I mean he's all strong, that lean, well-shaped body is...is...hmm what's the word I'm looking for?

Gorgeous.

OH, NO!

To die for.

OH KAMISAMA!(1)

Am I... What is this?! He's... he's... I'm... and... and...

OH dear, this is so strange.

"Tetsu-kun?! TETSU-KUN!"

Is he talking to me? I can't look, not now, he'll know. He'll notice that there's something strange with me.

"Are you alright? You're all flushed and red. Do you have a fever?"

Why are my cheeks so red? And why is he coming this way? I gotta get out of here.

"I'm okay, fukuchou. I...I...just forgot about something I gotta do." Stupid Tetsu, stupid! "I gotta go, thanks for the sight..."

NO!

"I meant the fight, I mean...the..." Yes Tetsu dig your grave deeper. "I'm sorry but I have to go."

As I bolt out of there all I can think is: What just happen to me?!

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(1)God in Japanese

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December2007  
November2008©MarinLiliz

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NEXT: _"Boys Be Boys"_ - Tetsu and Suzu almost get there before Saya interrupts them.


	7. Boys Be Boys

**[Disclaimer]:** Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**Boys Be Boys**

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Tetsu and Suzu sat together in the empty room in the Shimabara brothel; Saya gone to fetch some tea and some delicacies treats to entertain them.

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They had sat on the floor waiting for the girl to return not even aware of that their hands were inches apart, barely not touching in a mimic of the reluctance in accepting each other's presence here.

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"Saya should be back anytime now." Tetsu broke the silence with a bored tone.

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"Hmm." Suzu glanced back his way, not really making an effort to acknowledge the red-haired next to him.

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But their eyes met and something seemed to draw them near, like and irresistible force that kept pulling them closer and closer. So close their noses were nearly touching; their eyes clearly seeing the specks and of colour in the other's irises, their breaths mingling...

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Then the door slid open and Saya entered with the tea.

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Tetsu and Suzu broke apart, rapidly putting a far distance between them.

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Saya smiled at the silly boy's rivalry.

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December2007  
November2008©MarinLiliz

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NEXT: _"Jasmine Tea"_ - Tetsu watches as his brother and Yamanami-chou share a cup of tea.


	8. Jasmine Tea

**[Disclaimer]:** Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**Jasmine Tea**

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Tetsu huffed tiredly, looking around the corner to make sure he had finally managed to evade the chasing Saizou-san – the piglet could be tenacious sometimes – and sat to rest. The soft sounds of tabi'd feet on the wooden floors catching his attention to the pavilion across the grass.

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His brother sat at a desk, immersed in papers, softly scribbling and unaware of the world surrounding him, as Yamanami-chou walked into the room carrying two cups of steaming tea and saying:

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"Tatsu-kun, would you like a cup of this wonderfully smelling jasmine tea?"

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Tatsu-nii lifted his head from his accounting books and blinked in surprise. Yamanami-chou was standing right next to him offering a cup of tea. Even from this far Tetsu could see the warm scented vapor twirling in the cold air.

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Yamanami-chou continued: "You've been working nonstop since morning, Tatsu-kun. That can't be good for your health. Stop a little for a nice warm tea. It will cleanse your body and brighten the mind."

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Tetsu grinned at his brother's shy and embarrassed smile, he knew exactly what was going through Tatsu-nii's mind: 'Yamanami-chou, a vice-captain was taking time off his busy schedule to offer him tea and advice!' Tatsunosuke was caring and concerned about the people in Shinsengumi but for some reason couldn't fathom why those people would care for him in return. As was obvious by his answer.

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"Yamanami-chou, you didn't have to, I could've gone and ask some from Ayu-nee."

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"Nonsense. Anyway I brewed too much. It would be a waste not to savor this excellent tea with another."

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Yamanami-chou's outstretched hand offered Tatsunosuke the cup, and Tetsu could see when Tatsu-nii's cold hands and Yamanami's warm, kind ones touched, both holding the cup.

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There was a slight color in Tatsu-nii's cheeks and a warm smile in Yamanami's face when they looked at each other, which Tetsu didn't really get. But the moment between the two ended when the souchou slid his hands away from the cup and Tatsu's hands, returning to his tea, still smiling.

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"It truly invigorates the body," the souchou whispered, so low that Tetsu barely could make out the words.

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Tatsu-nii's cheeks blushed deeper and he drank a sip of the tea trying to hide it behind the cup.

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Marveled at the sensation the tea produced, he obliged, bowing, "thank you, Yamanami-chou. It's delicious."

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Tetsu couldn't quite understand what had just passed between his brother and the calm souchou but Saizou-san's grunts could be heard nearing, so Tetsu thought it better to leave the two to their tea and…things and run for it.

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November2008©MarinLiliz


	9. Ear Stitching

**Disclaimer: **Do not own Peacemaker Kurogane and will not make a profit out of this fic. PeaceMaker Kurogane©Nanae Chrono

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**Ear Stitching**

"Have you had someone take a look at that ear?" Appearing from the shadows, Susumu walked over to where a tired looking Tetsu stood over a kettle as if willing the water to boil.

Reaching for his bandaged ear, Tetsu said, "err... no, not yet. I've been looking after Souji-san and... well Hijikata-san." He motioned for a tray set with waiting tea cups, sweets and fresh fruit.

"You really want it to fall off, don't you?" Susumu made a show of smelling the air and look disgusted. "I can already smell the rot. It won't take long for it to fall off."

Tetsu pressed a hand to his ear, wincing at the pain it caused. "It isn't that bad," he protested, looking alarmed.

Susumu pulled Tetsu's hand from the ear, examining the bloodied bandage. "Maybe not right now, but it will be if you don't treat it in time."

Tetsu nodded, saying, "once I bring this tray to Souji-san, I'll seek the surgeon."

"Come back here with clean bandages and I'll sew it for you." Susumu offered.

"You... you'll fix it for me?"

Looking smug, Susumu took a curved needle out of his medicine kit, placing it in a cup and pouring boiling water over it. "A shinobi must be ready for all eventualities."

Tetsu eyed the needle warily as he prepared Souji-san's tea. "Do you swear on your shinobi honour my ear will look exactly the same after you're finished?"

"On my honour," Susumu declared.

Tetsu nodded and said, "I'll just take these to Souji-san and be right back with the bandages, then."

Susumu had everything prepared when Tetsu returned with the clean bandages as promised, looking a little green but determined.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said, brave as only he could be.

Susumu made him sit on a high table for better access, before removing the blood soaked bandage. It wasn't as bad as he had though; the wound was clean and Susumu sew it back together, applying a healing salve before wrapping a clean new bandage around Tetsu's head and almost as an afterthought dropping a kiss to Tetsu's ear.

Tetsu gasped and turned to look Susumu in the eyes."Is that another shinobi technique?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

Susumu blushed, he really shouldn't have done that. Looking down at Tetsu cautiously he answered, "err, no, I... I actually learned that from some monks in the mountains."

"Hmmm. Perhaps it has its merits, I think my ear already feels better," Tetsu said, before leaning up and kissing Susumu's mouth.

"Is there something wrong with my lips?" Susumu asked as he licked his lips, trying to get a taste of Tetsu.

"Don't know but it seems to be working for Hijikata-san and Souji-san." Tetsu snickered before stealing another kiss from Susumu.

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©MarinLiliz


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